Run and Run as Fast as You can, You can't Catch me, I'm the Gingerbreadman!

-The following scenes may contain grotesque and violent images and is not suitable for viewing of people who lack a sense of humour. Viewer disgression is adviced-

This post is a few days overdue,

Kit Fong has been mentioning it,
so has Johnny,
and Ingrid.

I've been wanting to post it but have been caught up in too many things of late. Anyway, ever since I was young, my parents have been reading me lots of nurdery rhymes, aesop fables and the likes, which you can see, more or less, influence me in my way of thinking (waaaaay too optimistic), my gesture of speech (never serious), and my literary point of view (nonsensical).

But one of the poems which sticks out vividly in my mind, includes something like this- 'Run and run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!'

And this Christmas, when I read that Gingerbread people were on sale, I was more than delighted to be reminded of a piece of my childhood.

A few days ago, they started distributing the gingerpeople, and I received a few.

So here's a play by play instruction on how to eat a gingerbread man-

1. Gingerbread persons have a tendency to run right after they are baked (not so the women, since they trip and fall on their laces way too often), so lock the back doors, make sure the cat flaps are blocked and other exits like the fireplace or windows are shut.

2. To eat, grab him by his foot.

3. Amputate him, this way, he won't be able to run.

4. Take a bite off of the other foot.

5. Now that he has no way of escaping, it's time to bite off his grubby, fingerless hands!

6. Bite off what's remaining of his torso.

7. Last but not least, put an end to his misery but biting off his head.

8. Though if he had sweat glands he'd probably look more like this-


Anyway, thanks Lynn Wei, Niny, Diana, Sakthis, Ru Yi and Pei Fern for your gingerbread people. My mum says once someone gets you something, you need to repay their kindness twice over, so I baked them all Christmas croissants instead.


I googled up the poem I mentioned above, and found this, for old time's sake, here's the Gingerbread man rhyme-

Once there was a gingerbread man,
Baking in a gingerbread pan.
Raisin eyes and a cherry nose,
Trimmed right down to his fingers and toes.
A gingerbread man in a gingerbread pan!

Here's the old woman who made him so sweet,
A treat for her and her husband to eat,
She made him with flour and sugar and eggs,
She gave him a face and two arms and two legs.
A gingerbread man in a gingerbread pan!

Now open the oven to see if he's done,
This gingerbread man, he know how to run.
Out of the oven and onto the floor,
Now run away out the kitchen door.
The gingerbread man, he's out of the pan!

Now chase him old woman, now chase him old man
Chase him, yes chase him as fast as you can!
Through the garden and out the gate,
Catch him right now, before it's too late.
The gingerbread man, he's out of the pan!

Along came a cow who wanted a treat
And the gingerbread man, he looked good to eat
Run, run, as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man
I'm the gingerbread man and I'm out of the pan!

Along came a horse who wanted a snack
But the gingerbread man, he never looked back
Run, run, as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man
I'm the gingerbread man and I'm out of the pan!

Along came a farmer who wanted a treat
And the gingerbread man, he looked good to eat
Run, run, as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man
I'm the gingerbread man and I'm out of the pan!

Along came a dog who wanted a snack
But the gingerbread man, he never looked back
Run, run, as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man
I'm the gingerbread man and I'm out of the pan!

Along came a hog who wanted a treat
And the gingerbread man, he looked good to eat
Run, run, as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man
I'm the gingerbread man and I'm out of the pan!

Along came a fox who wanted a treat,
And this gingerbread man, he looked good to eat.
Jump on my back, my gingerbread pet,
And we'll cross the river, so you won't get wet
Mr. Gingerbread man, who's out of the pan!

There was no place to go, there was no place to run
And a ride on the river could be lots of fun!
So off with the fox did Gingerbread go
And what happened next, you already know
To the gingerbread man, who's out of the pan

That sly old fox had a de-lic-ious treat
And the old man and woman had nothing to eat
Not a bite was left for the cow or the dog,
The horse or the farmer or hungry old hog
There's no gingerbread man in or out of the pan!

So let us go home and get out the pan
And we'll make ourselves a new gingerbread man!
And when he is eaten, we'll make us some more
But this time we'll be certain to lock the back door!
A new gingerbread man, in a gingerbread pan!

And apparently, there's a Russian version of the gingerbread man tale, about a round shaped piece of bread, who escaped after being baked. The story then tells of his journey while encountering different animals who attempted to eat him.
 

3 comments so far.

  1. johnnykiu.com December 28, 2007 at 2:24 PM
    haha
    nice story line.
    pity gingerbreadman
  2. lw December 28, 2007 at 9:33 PM
    really cool how you describe the way to eat them!! for me, i just eat the head off - cut them off from any CNS activity! kekekek

    evil eh?
  3. Aleckii December 29, 2007 at 9:12 AM
    Johnnykiu.com: Yeah, poor thing, went through all the trouble only to be eaten up by the fox!

    Lynn Wei: Wise move- one move to shut off all signals from the Central Nervous System. Wise move indeed!

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